Pushing. That's what I've been doing. I've been pushing thoughts of doing well out of my head. I KNOW that my body is already changing shape with the exercise I've been doing. I KNOW that my muscles are getting a LOT strong. I KNOW that I can do this if I really put my mind to it, but I've truly been pushing that thought from my head.
I made it through the last 4 weeks and never ONCE thought about missing a group workout. This week, I had to push myself to go. I did NOT want to get out of bed. I did NOT want to go sweat at 5:30 in the morning. I did NOT want to do it, period. But, I pushed myself. I DID do it. I made it through the workout and burned 590 calories. I pushed a fellow group member to do better. I pushed through the sore muscles. Now I am pushing through REALLY sore muscles. It was a leg workout and they feel like they want to fall off at the hip because they are SO sore today. I am going to have to push myself to go to the gym tonight after work. I really feel like I could get away with not going, but I already let myself eat 2 monster cookies today and I am SO tempted to have a third. I need to push that thought from my mind. Actually-I need to go give AWAY the last monster cookies in the container.
I coached volleyball this year. It was my first year and I coached freshman girls. It went well. I remember thinking every day though, that I was the FAT coach. I didn't look good in my clothes. I didn't even look KIND OF athletic. I couldn't do the things I wanted to do to help show my girls what I was asking of them because I knew my body either wouldn't do it or would look completely ridiculous executing the moves. Either way, I was the fat coach. Also, I looked ridiculous in all the team clothing I had/have. Well, last night was our team banquet and I bought the XL long-sleeve shirt that I wouldn't have even THOUGHT of buying 4 weeks ago. I did. I took it home. I tried it on. IT FIT! It is a little snug but it was SO comfortable and I wore it all over the house and my Cowboy (aka-Chad, but Cowboy from now on) said it was great! He also was encouraging and said in NO time, it will not be snug at all and it might even be too big! YAY! So that was an accomplishment for me last night. It is dry-fit material so I even brought it to workout in today. We'll see how it goes.
Now, my problem comes because I don't understand how I can have an accomplishment and then go back to eating TWO monster cookies today instead of the protein pudding I brought. UGH! I need to keep pushing myself to do better eating-wise. My mom made the crock-pot chicken with salsa recipe that Ann posted on Twelve-in-Twelve this morning so we will try that for supper! I saw the recipe and called her immediately to tell her to try it and I'd come over for supper tonight so she did! YAY! I'll let you know how it is!
One final note...I ordered a bracelet from Prior Fat Girl's website. It is the "One bite at a time. One decision at a time." bracelet. I actually ordered two. I asked Cowboy if he wanted to wear the other one with me. He hesitated at first. I gave him a little heck about it. He didn't want to because he said he might feel stupid if his friends asked him what it was. Then, he must have thought about it yesterday all day because last night, he said that if I wanted him to, he would be happy to wear it! SO....we are both wearing the bracelet. Now I KNOW I can NOT let myself down. Or Cowboy. He works hard to support me. Sometimes, I forget that. Therefore, I can not let either one of us down. I WILL make better decisions...ONE AT A TIME!
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